Contrary to the popular meaning associated with love that deals with feelings, emotions and body sensations, I propose a different kind of love called Extraordinary Love. Extraordinary Love which is higher awareness, a state of consciousness has its foundation in unconditional love with devotion. It provides an ability to shield oneself from the chains of pain, misery and suffering and to create a state of joy, freedom and peace of mind.

The artist who engages the world with this kind of love is an extraordinary lover. An extraordinary lover exhibits qualities of humility, compassion and honor. The mind of an extraordinary lover is strong and deep like that of an ocean. He exhibits mental toughness with single-minded focus to be present wherever he is. He lets go of the past while bringing nothing but a listening for greatness and commitment to a conversation.

The secret to being an extraordinary lover is mastering the art of detachment. It is important to understand that detachment is not disengagement; it is not about letting go of our responsibility towards our loved ones or towards the society we live in. It is rather a conscious engagement without attachment to the outcome or to the people we come in contact with throughout our lives. It is doing our best in every moment and doing every little thing with so much love that we don’t want to do any other way anymore.

All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
~ William Shakespeare

Consider that the world is a grand stage of actors and actresses who are playing a part in a cosmic play of which our Creator is the director. This cosmic play is a result of karmic transactions that keeps the cycle of life and death into existence. We are simply brought into contact with people with whom we need to complete our karmic transactions and then we go our individual ways. We are entitled to our actions and not to the fruit of our labor. As long as we understand that every person we come in contact with is a role assigned to us by the director then there is clarity in our way of being. The moment we begin to forget that we are merely an actor playing a part and begin to attach ourselves to the roles, and the other players in the act we tend to suffer as every play has a definite beginning and an end. Attachment is therefore the root of pain. This pain is caused due to a thwarted intention, an unmet expectation or undelivered communication.

We continue to suffer and mourn over a role in a play that was long over, instead of letting go and adapting ourselves to a new role that comes our way. Another analogy is that of travelers on a journey using a public transportation system i.e. subway – where we meet people as we go about our daily lives. There is a small window on the subway that we get to interact with these fellow travelers as we disembark at our respective stations. As long as we are grounded in the context of passing through in this world we can remain detached and continue on our journey with freedom, joy and peace of mind. It is therefore the art of remaining devoted to our journey with complete surrender to the divine will, knowing all the while that it is all a cosmic play. Such is the expression of an extraordinary lover.

Extraordinary Love is an incomparable source of happiness for both the giver and the receiver of this divine gift. It is the life and spirit of all actions. No action can be beneficial without extraordinary love. Just as two things cannot exist in the same place at the same time, similarly attachment and extraordinary love cannot exist together. Extraordinary Love demands complete surrender, and causes one to be happy in its expression. It is the art of giving unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. It is following the divine direction of our Creator.

The nectar of extraordinary love is a sweet elixir of life. However it is not an easy path, and requires courage. Those who walk this path open their hearts to experiencing the ecstasy of love by letting go of the evil propensities of the EGO and adopt humility. It requires a fearless one to embark on this journey. As an extraordinary lover one makes a conscious choice to lead a life of surrender to the path of love. Only when one is willing and able to play the role as being directed by the Creator on this journey can one be ready to tread this garden of love, for then alone they can taste the elixir of extraordinary love. It is an extraordinary work of sacrifice and surrender to the Creator’s will. The influence of extraordinary love is unique; it provides access to peace, joy and fulfillment.

I wish I could put the swaying splendor of the fields into words

So that you could hold Truth
Against your body and dance

I am trying the best I can
With this crude brush, the tongue,

To cover you with Light.

~ Author Unknown

“Rivers do not drink their own water, nor do tree eat their own fruit, nor do rain clouds eat the grains reared by them.

The wealth of the noble is used solely for the benefit of others

Even after accepting that giving is good and that one must learn to give, several questions need to be answered..

The first question is – when should one give ?

One does not know really whether one will be there tomorrow to give!

The time to give therefore is – NOW.

The next question is – ‘how much to give ?’

One recalls the famous incident from history. Maharaja Rana Pratap was reeling after defeat from the Moghals. He had lost his army, he had lost his wealth, and most important he had lost hope, his will to fight.

At that time in his darkest hour, his erstwhile minister Bhamasha came seeking him and placed his entire fortune at the disposal of Rana Pratap. With this, Rana Pratap raised an army and lived to fight another day.

The answer to this question how much to give is – “Give as much as you can”!

The next question is – what to give?

It is not only money that can be given. It could be a flower or even a smile.

It is not how much one gives but how one gives that really matters. When you give a smile to a stranger that may be the only good thing received by him in days and weeks!

“You can give anything but you must give with your heart !

One also needs answer to this question – whom to give ?

Many times we avoid giving by finding fault with the person who is seeking. However, being judgmental and rejecting a person on the presumption that he may not be the most deserving is not justified. “Give without being judgmental !

Next we have to answer – ‘How to give ?

Coming to the manner of giving, one has to ensure that the receiver does not feel humiliated, nor the giver feels proud by giving.

‘Let not your left hand know what your right hand gives. Charity without publicity and fanfare, is the highest form of charity. ‘Give quietly !

While giving let not the recipient feel small or humiliated. After all what we give never really belonged to us. We come to this world with nothing and will go with nothing. The thing gifted was only with us for a temporary period. Why then take pride in giving away something which really did not belong to us?

Give with grace and with a feeling of gratitude.

What should one feel after giving?

We all know the story of Eklavya. When Dronacharya asked him for his right thumb as “Guru = Dakshina”. He unhesitatingly cut off the thumb and gave it to Dronacharya.

There is a little known sequel to this story..

Eklavya was asked whether he ever regretted the act of giving away his thumb when he was dying. His reply was “Yes ! I regretted this only once in my life. It was when Pandavas were coming in to kill Dronacharya who was broken hearted on the false news of death of his son Ashwathama and had stopped fighting. It was then that I regretted the loss of my thumb. If the thumb was there, no one could have dared hurt my Guru? The message to us is clear.

Give and never regret giving !

And the last question is – ‘ How much should we provide for our heirs ?

Ask yourself , ‘Are we taking away from them the “gift of work? – a source of happiness!’

The answer is given by Warren Buffett: “Leave your kids enough to do anything, but not enough to do nothing !

I would conclude by saying: let us learn the Art of Giving, and quoting Sant Kabir:

“When the wealth in the house increases, When water fills a boat, throw them out with both hands ! This is the wise thing to do!

Live simply. Love generously. Speak kindly.

“Who is it?” she replied.

The lover replied, “It is I.”

“Go away. This house will not hold you and I.”

The rejected lover retreated into the wilderness. For a long time he
prayed and meditated on the beloved’s words. Finally he returned and
knocked at the door again

“Who is it?” she said again.

The lover replied, “It is you.”

Immediately, the door opened

A friend of mine Adena Levine, a Peace Preschool Director of the Jerusalem International YMCA is working on such an initiative. The goals of the Preschool are:

* To provide a high-quality preschool education which stimulates children intellectually, emotionally, socially and physically in the tradition of the YMCA ideals of balanced spirit, mind and body.
* To facilitate coexistence between Muslims and Jews on a daily, ongoing basis as a normal part of life for children and their families.
* To expose the children to the Other and to the Other’s culture, language and religion, enabling the development of tolerance and understanding while preserving the distinct characteristics of each child and their cultural identity. This is not a “melting pot” model but an attempt to create a coexistence of diversities.

The Preschool is currently attended by 120 Muslim, Jewish and Christian children ranging in age from 1 to 5 years.

Please help support the good cause: http://ellazimm.co.uk/gan

Love and Peace
~ Kaushal

One day a farmer’s donkey fell into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway – it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to scoop dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realizing what was happening, cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement he became quiet.

A few shovels later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that fell on his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He shook it off and took a step up.

As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he shook it off and took a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and totted off!

“Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick is too not to get bogged down by it. We can get out of the deepest wells by not stopping. And by never giving up. Shake it off and take a step up” ~ Azim Premji