Consider that you don’t make choices, but on a deeper level you choose to dwell in conversations that has life show up a certain way. Conversations by its very nature is non representational which means they disappear. You only keep them in existence when you actively engage in them or your nervous system triggers it based on stimuli.
Those of you who have gotten to know me at deeper levels may have realized that I choose to avoid digging up the past – not mine or someone else’s. Not that there isn’t value or learning’s to be gained in the good old memories (pleasure) or the disappointments/upsets (pain) of the past. On the contrary, it would serve as a road map to many to learn from the mistakes and the triumphs of their predecessors who have walked before them.
However, we also need to be cognizant of the fact that every time we engage in a conversation of the past, we give new life to it. We may consider ourselves to be fairly open-minded and non judgmental, and unless we have developed an enormous capacity to distinguish moment by moment our judgments, opinions, and assessments, we are at a risk of tainting our lens through which we see the world. This then puts the future that shows up at a disadvantage blurred by the past, and also the individuals in our lives to limit their expression of what is possible that is not given by the past.
Tip: Learn from the past, Live in the present moment and the Future shall take care of itself
Take the case that our life is given by the three acts
Act 1: Our Past
Act 2: Resolving the past
Act 3: A new invented life
The unfortunate plight of the world at large is that many of them have no access to the second act- (Transformation). Some of us who have gotten the distinction that ‘Our biography is not our destiny’ have inadvertently moved on to the second stage. However, only a tiny percentage of that population step it up to another level, where they live a created life every day. This requires having developed huge capacity of courage, unlimited generosity, love and forgiveness and exercising it even in cases when you have every right to do otherwise. And taking a stand such that we are not escaping the situation at hand or cutting off people in our lives but to reengage them to invent a created life.
History is replete with examples of such individuals who have chosen to exercise these virtues. Nelson Mandela being imprisoned for 27 years of his life, had every right to be mad at his oppressors, but chose peace and harmony instead. Aung San Suu Kyi still under detention for the last 20years of her life by a corrupt military junta chooses to engage in a conversation ‘new dawn for the country’ that is free from hatred and has its roots in forgiveness and non violence.
And to draw a contrast sometimes we hang on to an upset because we did not get the right sauce on our Taco! Or someone said something that was uncalled for. Is it not incredible that how conveniently we remember only the conversations that upset us and overlook the rest?
This should put things in perspective for many of us.
The best way to build this capacity of virtues is to not take yourself away , but to consciously reengage yourself in the mix where there is a likelihood of your character being tested.Your character is shaped by such endeavors.
Tip: The true test of one’s character is not when things are going well but when they are not
Live an Extraordinary life, Leave a legacy!!!
Very cool new blog post to think through.